|I have something to say about me....
||[Apr. 14th, 2006|11:17 pm]
First off i would like to apologize to my LJ friends who i never comment on anything they say. I have no excuses but im sure to some it doesnt even matter... but to me it does. |
Today i have participated in an average days worth of events, played some games, went to see a funny/borderline mentally handicapped movie with my friends. But the whole time I felt kind of strange throughout the day, i was in a mood that is really hard to explain. I needed something... something ive missed for too long.
I didnt go to a concert tonight that 2 of my friends are in, why? because i dont really like the music or the people that attends them. But that wasnt really the reason, that is just what i had myself, and others believe. I didnt go to an event that pretty much all of my friends that i care about; went too, one where one friend i see frequently and the other not enough. I am not the only one who was dissapointed tonight for me not going. There is someone who is looking for something and i am the one who can help him... and it seems as though i am not willing too. But im am; there is a great feeling i get when i help people, and the sad thing is that it is not often. Is there someone that knows my true potential? Because i dont. I wish that i could explain more of how i am feeling, lost? no not that, im not lost. Im.... im just a guy who needs more help than he thinks he should get. Im just an anyone who finds it so hard to believe in himself, that i limit my own potential. Im human, and i hate it with the deepest feeling i can muster. I have seen so many people who fail, not in the over all scheme of things but in their own eyes. Ive seen people act in ways there never going to be able to forgive themselves for. Ive seen people who want to help everyone, to bring smiles to someone else's face. To be a source of strength and reliance for everyone who associates with them, not for themselves or for their own glory but for everyone who believes... in the good of themselves. That they to can do what this person can do for them. That they can inspire and influence in grand ways not interrupted by selfishness or greed. That they can feel that joy that comes from every thing done with a wholesome heart and good intentions. It seems like that is lost though...
Let me tell you something... the people ive seen, is Me.